It's a good book, but it's not my Typee...

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Zombies: Why won't they die already?

In talking to my friend Heather today, I was reminded of the fact that the Zombie craze has not died down. Why the heck is that?

Zombies are boring to me. No one wants to date a zombie. There will be no Twilight-like romance associated with them. No teenage girl is dreaming about a zombie falling in love with her and stalking her at school. Although zombies and Robert Pattinson do share a hairstyle.

They can't talk. They can't even walk very well. Zombies are like drunk people who are never going to sober up. And that's no fun. What's the point in hanging out with someone like that when you can't tell them the next day, "Man, you should have seen the way you bit that guy's nose off.  Classic."

Also, let's be honest with ourselves. If zombies took over the planet, you would not be a plucky survivor with a machete and a shotgun. You would be biting someone's nose off and shambling around, Thriller-style.

So in short, let's just drop the zombie thing like a rotting appendage. Shall we?